What in the World Am I Doing??
Started November 2, 2025
Finished November 15, 2025
I’m nearing the end of my time here in Monaco. A bit surreal, I must say.
I’ve had a lot of question from others about what in the world am I doing in Monaco?? I’ve thought of how I could share this experience as I was living it, but honestly got overwhelmed with the amount of content I got from it all - what a terrible problem!! Haha, but in seriousness, I hope this will provide some context to my life that I can share with friends, family, strangers, whoever, in additon to reflection, thoughts, lessons learned, wisdom gained, and how I will take this chapter of my life into the next.
I came here a few months ago, within about a weeks notice. It was a beautifully last-minute, God-ordained plan.
I’m still completing my Masters in Marketing with William and Mary. Cool thing is that it is online, so it has provided me with a ton of flexibility over this year-and-a-half that I’ve been in it (which, currently completing my LAST course of the program… what?! So crazy!!! Soon to be Master coming in December wooo).
If you had asked me what my next steps were as I was nearing the end of my time in Williamsburg, “graduating” with all of my friends (I graduated a year early for context and stayed in the Burg for my fourth season of volleyball), I would have said living in DC for the summer after my sister trip to Europe throughout June, getting sales experience/saving up, and then moving to Charleston in August/September and pursuing a career in medical sales (which, medical sales and Charleston are not out of the picture, buttt I do feel as though God has lead me elsewhere for now)
My lovely friend Madison (shoutout FCA and Coastal Church for our friendship) mentioned her sister to me (which, fast forward is my dear friend Melanie) and that she and her husband Terry (another now dear friend) live in Monaco, have one daughter (Miss Malia) and a new baby boy (Mister Tatum) and had been looking for some help. (Also side note/connection that Mel and Terry both went to William and Mary - shoutout to that alumni network!) Just a mention, nothing too crazy. And this was back in May, I believe. Fast forward to after my trip to Europe in June, and Madison and I were catching up. I jokingly said I felt like I could live in Europe it was so beautiful! And followed up with a, is your sister still looking for help?? Slightly joking with a little seriousness because I’m always down for an adventure of sorts and I’ve always been drawn to babysitting/nannying because I love kids and find joy in giving parents a breather, in whatever way that could look like.
Fast forward a week or so and I am on a flight to Monaco.
Now, let me pause and say it’s been really cool to hear God’s voice through this whole experience and in making decisions. I’ll have to get my journal from before this and find what our conversation was, but I just remember praying about going or not going/what next steps I should take (because yes, super exciting/adventurous decision and cool story and whatnot but also at the end of the day, I only go if God wants me to), and God was so clear about it. “Go, my daughter. Go!”
Okay then!
It was a sort of trial run the first time I came. Mid July to end of August, seeing if it was a good fit for both the family and myself. Not sure what long term would look like but we would check back in with each other about it after some time. I came back to the states after the month, went to a couple of weddings, visited friends and family, and then had a conversation with Mel about coming back! Fast forward another week or so and I am simultaneously moving out of my moms apartment near DC (that I “lived” in for a collective of probably 5 days scattered throughout the summer lol) and packing for Monaco round two! End of September to beginning of November (which is now, which is SO so crazy because time really flies, doesn’t it?)
Another side bar as I’m writing… part of me would say I am a spontaneous person, especially if I am referring to this experience, you know, a “go with the flow” person, but moreso I’m a “go with the flow of the Spirit” kind of person. If he is keeping me in a still, slower season, which he totally has before, then by all means, I’ll stay still. But I really think he has put me in a position to just take things one at a time, including experiences/little chapters of life, especially recently. It’s forced me to be extra faithful in Him and in what he has for me.
Let’s move on to struggles. Throughout this experience I’ve believed a lot about myself, a handful being, well now I’m sure they’re lies. “You had this big plan to have a normal, big girl job and move on your own and now what, you’re being a nanny? That’s pretty pathetic. So, you’re really just doing nothing? You’re wasting your time. Your education. Your opportunities.”
But I’ll stop right there and tell you some wisdom combating those things, built by a conversation I had with my wonderful sister in Christ, Audrey: nothing you do in life is a waste if you are pursuing Christ and allowing him to guide your steps. And who is telling you that your life has to look like x,y, or z?
Sometimes we limit ourselves to what we think something looks like: success, opportunity, etc. If the Lord has taught and is continuing to teach me one thing, it’s that He is the only one who knows what’s best for you to be the best vessel you can be for Him. He wants us to take the time to lay our own thoughts and predispositions down about what our life will look like, and open our hearts and minds to what He has for us.
So, back to my experience here. What is it that I actually did and do on a day-to-day basis in Monaco???
Basically, I feel like a stay-at-home-mom in training!
No one day is the same, which is fun and keeps me on my toes, but also makes it hard for me to quickly summarize what has come with the job and experience. But, I’ll try. Waking the kids up, helping get Malia ready for school when she has it, cooking, cleaning, playing, naps, more cooking, more cleaning, more naps for Tatum, tidying, integrating my own school assignments when I have bits of free time, job searching when I have extra bits of free time, errand-running, … and not all by myself. Mel and I tag team the day with the kids. Some days feel jam-packed, some days feel more chill, some days feel like they will be chill and then boom out of nowhere chaos. I feel as though I have really gotten a glance into what the parenting life is like.
Like I mentioned, I’ve spent lots of time babysitting and nannying since I was 12, but this is definitely the most experience I’ve gotten with all things children. Changing diapers, rocking a baby to sleep, feeding a toddler, redirecting Malia to stay entertained and out of trouble, enjoying the bits of stillness and calm moments with both kids, …
One of the coolest things is that I’ve learned so much about infant development. Seeing Tatum gain strength and coordination and awareness has been SO cool. At the beginning of 3 months, he was just starting to recognize sounds and patterns. Recognizing his own face, even, through the discovery and exposure to mirrors! Smiling, even though it takes 5-8 seconds to process movements and sounds around him. At the end of 3 months, he is able to have a strengthened grip and move both hands to an object in the middle of his body and bring it to his mouth, something he was seemingly not even close to doing at the beginning. And then his back, neck, and core strength and development… tummy time for babies is a workout. They need the strength from every part of their body to stabilize themselves and keep their heads up so they don’t suffocate themselves on the ground. And another thing, when babies get tired, a sign is red eyebrows. Sounds made up, right? But the science behind it: fatigue adds discomfort to the child, creating stress which activates the pituary gland which signals the adrenal gland to produce cortisol, the “awake” hormone of the sleep/wake cycle. Blood vessels dilate in response to the release of cortisol. The skin around an infant’s eyebrows is less fatty, thinner, and more transparent, making the blood vessels more apparent, and so the eyebrows appear reddish. Cool, right???
And this all brought me back to my initial love and passion for infants. Specifically my dream to become a doctor in the NICU to work with premature newborns (would be full circle because I was a preemie — 3 months early, 2 lbs 12 ounces!). One day I was holding Tatum, observing him observing the new world around him, and I was thinking about this seemingly old dream of mine. Lord, did I waste the passion you gave me in 6th grade?? 6th grade to sophomore year of college… down the drain?? But you took the passion of the doctor route away when I prayed about it, and opened new doors. So, bummer, I can’t make a difference like I thought I would in that world, huh. And then immediately the Lord whispered, you don’t have to be a doctor or a nurse to make an impact in this world, my daughter. And just like that, my mind started creating different ideas of what I could do. Nonprofit/ministry work with NICU babies and new mothers?? And this is all a fresh idea, but a cool, exciting one, one that I will remember stemmed from my sweet time in Monaco with baby Tatum and with Mel.
Some other few things I learned in my time here was, through observing Mel and Terry, just how much parents do. The severe lack of sleep to make sure the baby is alive. The entertainment of your toddler when all you want is a moment for yourself, but you love your child so much that you want more for them to develop well and be nourished and cared for and to feel loved and seen.
Watching Terry play with Malia and love her so much reminded me of how my dad and I spent time together as I was in my toddler years (rather than being in preschool, I was in my dads company, which accompanies my mind with fond memories). Gaining the perspective from the parent this time around made me realize how much I appreciate my dad for pouring so much into my childhood years. I think that sparked the healing of our own relationship, which has been pretty cool, might I add.
And seeing Mel in the way she ever so gently and genuinely loves her children reminded me of how my mom did and does the same.
The games with the creativity and love of joining a child’s imagination, the late nights and early mornings, the drop-off and pick-ups from school, the meals made with love, the loving discipline, the bedtime stories and tooth-brushing, the soothing childhood songs, the comfort and support of it all… parents. Mom and dad. I only got a glimpse, and I can only imagine the level of gratitude I will reach when I have children of my own one day.
I also got to see some fun games! Shoutout Monaco basketball and futbol. Like I said, Terry is on the team in Monaco, and so we got to see a few of his home games. Electric crowds. Fun to watch. And then I got to see a futbol match: Monaco versus Tottenham. Pretty cool. Once again, electric crowds.
There was also the Yacht Show the second time I was there. A sea of yachts filling the port and ocean surrounding the city. More boats than I could count! Crazy.
What is there to do in Monaco?? The famous Monte Carlo, of course. Have a coffee and lunch in Cafe de Paris in the same square as the casino and people watch. Walk around the Princes Palace and Old Town. See the F1 track surrounding the port while looking at all of the boats. Go shopping. Specifically to the Queen Bee vintage store, as that was my favorite where I got some fun shoes! Go for a run and explore. Get more of a workout in on the way back up the absurd amounts of stairs and inclined roads. Walk around the beautiful parks scattered all throughout the city. And the ocean, go see the ocean!! Sit and watch the deep blue, clear waves crash and calm. Go to Petit Cafe for the best coffee and pastries and brunch you will ever have. And then walk through the Japanese Gardens to Larvatto Beach for a calm afternoon. More waters to take in, from crystal clear fading into light and then dark hues of blue. Pretty cool stuff.
Now for my off days. AKA my days of exploration! I got to travel allll around the coast of France. We technically lived in France, just a 5 min walk north of Monaco, in Beausolei. Walk 10 mins down to the Monaco Monte-Carlo train station and you can get anywhere in just a short time! To the left of Monaco, we’ve got Cap D’ail, Eze, Beaulieu Sur Mer, Sant Jean Cap Ferrat, Nice, Cannes, and Saint Paul de Vence. To the right, Roquebrune, Menton, and Ventimiglia. And further north, La Turbie! And these are just the places I visited… there are a handful more! So. Much. Fun. SO many sights to see! So much character in each of these little towns, it’s quite hard to pick my favorite. We’ve got the trail of Cap D’ail with a perfect view of the waters. Quaint, charming Eze making you feel like you’re in medieval times. Saint Paul de Vence, like Eze but a bit bigger and filled with art everywhere!! La Turbie with the best hike ever to the best view of the sunrise over all of the cities. And with the best pan au chocolate I’ve ever had. To new a few favorites…
Now, fast forward in time as I am writing this on November 15 in Utah…
So what am I doing next?? Well, I just (yesterday) completed a cross-country road trip from Virginia to Utah (last Friday flew back from Monaco to DC, then visited good ole’ Williamsburg for volleyball’s senior weekend and to see my wonderful boyfriend and friends, and then headed here and made it in a 2.5 day trip (Wednesday morning to Friday afternoon)). Why Utah?? What in the world is in Utah?? My sister moved here, and so she and I planned to live together for a bit as I complete my Masters and look for a job moving forward. But plot twist, she actually accepted an offer to play pro volleyball in Peru about a week after she moved here, so it’s just me as of now until she returns! Shoutout last-minute changes lol.
Truthfully, I am also slightly wondering what I am doing here. Why I came all this way. But, I know the Lord has me here for a reason, and I am excited for what he’s got in store!!!
Here’s to trusting His plan and remaining malleable as He refines us in the unknown for His glory!
And to the adventure of it all.
