The Art of Self-Forgetfulness: A Series
September 6, 2023
The Art of Self-Forgetfulness. The name of the book I just asked Elise if she still had. I want to read. I find myself looking in the mirror before class, fixing my hair to be just right, so it sits well on one side and stays back on the other, so that my good side shows, not too much, but just enough to where I’m not hiding but I’m also not doing too much. I find myself making sure my shirt is aligned and my criss-cross yoga pants are criss crossed just right, so that the right amount of stomach is shown, in a subtle way, of course. I find myself fixing my posture in class, how I pay attention, what my ‘focused’ face looks like. I am so self-aware that I believe I’ve become self-indulged. Self-idolizing. Evaluate body language for those around me? Sure. Shift my body in a way that I think one person will recognize me, glance my way with interest? Mmmm… I do not think that is the best use of my time, my energy. I am smart, beautiful, confident, but I am given these qualities and more from God, not to glorify myself, but to glorify Him. So, what does that look like? The art of self-forgetfulness. I want to learn.
March 20, 2024
The Art of Self-Forgetfulness. The progression of the consistency of my heart posture in this has grown so much, and I didn’t realize it until reading the above back.
The Art of Self-Forgetfulness. It is an art, something beautiful, but to be in the space of progressing artwork takes time, energy, and effort to master the art. To perfect and touch up the piece. The art of self-forgetfulness takes the effort to keep the self in mind, but not in the lens of seeking the approval of others over the approval of the One who matters most, who has already called us and approved of us.
The above was the first step in partaking in the art. Acknowledging that the demographic of my desire for approval and perfection in the way I acted, looked, and motioned was the people in this world. For my peers. For the people on campus. For the crush.
I find myself living life. Dressing up. Dressing down. Putting my makeup on. Or not. And I find myself simply doing and enjoying. I don’t take too long looking in the mirror. I don’t think too much about what someone will think of me if I choose one shirt over another, and how that may change if I walk or sit a certain way or say a certain something to perfect an interaction. It’s much more freeing, really.
I falter. I still find myself, on a more rare occassion than before, looking in the reflection of cars and windows as I walk to class, seeing my appearance, judging, even if it is in the slightest. But, I acknowledge it, and aim to master the art. The Art of Self-Forgetfulness.
August 23, 2024
I saw somewhere that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
I believe the practice of thinking more often of others than yourself is a key part to this art of self-forgetfulness. Active curiosity.
Respectfully, objectively, people are not thinking of you as much as you are, naturally. People do not care for more than 10 seconds on average of what you’re doing, what you’re wearing, etc., at least not more than they do themselves. Rather, the essence of who you are is what makes the most impact on people and their perception of you. And, as you broaden the lens, those perceptions only count for a mere inkiling of what truly matters. How are you presenting yourself in the light of Christ? How are you presenting the light of Christ to others through you? Let us look to him, the Creator, the Master of this art.
