A Crush
February 2024
So, I have a crush. He is cute and seems… he seems. Dangerous route. Placing predetermined expectations on who someone is and how they operate, when they could be and could act completely differently.
Friend crushes work the same way,
And opportunity crushes.
I believe it to be a disservice, to both an individual and the other side of the relationship, to hold someone to idealized expectations and intentions that they have not set. I saw once that a crush is a lack of information. Whether that is fully correct or not, it leads me to this. Having a crush is fun. It is entertaining. It is from a space of open gaps in one’s personality and dynamic with you. However, there is a dangerous space for filling those gaps in yourself. Of filling in how the relationship would look. it creates disappointment and places pre-set failure on the other person when they do not live up to expectations. So let them fill in the gaps. And enjoy the journey of it all.
I believe it takes time to know someone. And shared experiences. What do I like? The little things, I mean. What makes me glow? What brightens my mood? What makes me sad? Heartbroken? How do I handle difficult things? How do I process things? What is the foundation of how I operate?
To be known is to be loved, and to be known takes time and care. Genuine attention, and this is made much easier, in my opinion, without the wall of built expectations of how we think a person may be. If you think I handle things one way and I handle it another, does that catch you off guard? Why? You haven’t really seen how I handle things.
[To be continued]
